PHOTO: Single mother, Yamah Togbah sits at her maket table daily to support her family
By Kay Mantor
Being a single mother in post-war Liberia is a daunting responsibility to shoulder, especially in a situation where there is low income and the individual is not too high on the education ladder.
This is the situation of 56-year-old single mother, Yamah Togbah, who has been able to surmount the grave challenged and single-handedly raise her four children after her husband, Flomo Togbah passed away several years ago.
Born on August 24, 1966, Yamah graduated from the E. J. Yancy High School in Totota Bong County. Like most other single mothers, she has to choose between taking care of the welfare of her kids and furthering her education in the face of limited resources. Consequently, she could not pursue her academic sojourn beyond a high school diploma.
But she rather diverted her attention from herself to investing in in her little ones. Her care for her kids became more of her concern after she lost her husband and became a single parent.
Before his death, her late husband Mr. Flomo Togbah worked as Chief Security assigned at a warehouse called “Keep me for Better Tomorrow. The couple was from the Kpelle ethnic group. Both husband and wife worked by doing unskilled jobs in order to keep food on the table and roof over their heads, and also their kids. Tragedy befell the family when Mr. Togbah suffered a brief illness, owing to stomach pain and later gave up the ghost at the Goodness of God Clinic in Bong County where was carried to in search of medical attention.
Being a single mother of four indeed pose huge financial burden on Yamah, because her only source of livelihood was petit trade. She sells basic provisions on a small table that is mounted right in front of her house. It is locally referred to in Liberia as “Table market”. Out of her meager profit she takes care of their daily feeding, medical needs (whenever it was needed), educational expenses, and just everything. She also paid house rent for their little one room facility.
But in the face of all of these challenges, Ma-Yamah single-handedly been shouldering her family’s responsibilities, usually waking up from be as early as 4 Am to begin getting ready for each day’s hustle.
“The life of a single parent (mother) can be very because if you can’t get it for yourself there’s no way you can have what you need to take care of the home. If you go to work for other people, it will take twenty-eight or sometime thirty days before you get a meager salary. This is not the best thing for us with children”, she told this intern reporter during an interview. When asked as to what has been her motivation, she said her kids and their wellbeing were her greatest motivation.
“My children are my only family now. I have suffered with them so much and my greatest desire was to see them grow up to take care of me. I knew that one day they would grow up and be in the position to provide for me,” she says with a grim smile.
According to Yamah Togbah, she and her late husband had a total of five children, including four girls and a boy. Her first child, who was a girl, died at an early age, leaving her with four. They all have now grown into adults, and she now also has two gran children.
“My second child, Annie Togbah, graduated from the University of Liberia and currently lives Australia, Miatta Togbah, my third is now attending the United Methodist University, UMU, while Moses Togbah, my son, is currently a high school graduate. My last daughter is with me in the Police Academy Turning-Point Community, and is a high school student,” she said. The proud single mother admitted that it’s not an easy thing to be a single parent, but she encourages single mothers to be strong and “always pray to God for your children and stand your ground for them.”
This remarkable single mother adds: “When women are faced with single parenthood, whether due to death of one’s partner or divorce, it is time to put their feet down and pray and don’t give up on your children, God is in control and he sees everything.”
Here in Liberia, it has been learned that many single mothers are faced with not only economic issues, but also emotional and social problems, which translate into greater risk of venturing into deviant behaviors–both by the mothers and children alike. Many times, children from single-parent homes sadly become wayward youths, ending up being illicit drug-users, alcoholics and even get involved in criminal activities.
Some single mothers have failed to be patient and strong for themselves and their children, these children sometime follow bad friends and end up as wayward. This has been a major contributing factor in the growing number of societal nuisances in post-war Liberia.
But Yamah Togbah like other exemplary single mothers around the country have made and are making the difference positively. And as one social worker said, “they must be celebrated”. Publication of this report is part of the Press Union of Liberia (PUL) fellowship program for Senior Students of the University of Liberia and the Peter Quaqua School of Journalism with support from Internews.